I Want a Divorce

A Smile in Rhyme

Welcome to A Smile in Rhyme—a collection of gentle, rhythmic poems inspired by everyday life. Here, peaceful moments meet musical flow, and simple experiences become bright, lyrical reflections—always with a hint of warmth and a smile. Settle in, take your time, and enjoy the rhythm.

There is always something to celebrate each month. April highlights a variety of global events aimed at raising awareness. The National Couple Appreciation Month encourages taking time to cherish romance and companionship. Similarly, on April 18, couples observe Husband Appreciation Day through simple gestures. But why celebrate twice when we can both celebrate these occasions together?

On the other hand, if you’re in a relationship and wondering where all the romance has gone, and you’re no longer enjoying each other’s company, relax and have a bit of fun in a light-hearted and enjoyable way, just for a laugh.

Originally written as a university assignment, this poem has been revisited and reworked with extra cheek and playful spirit, and just a hint of mischief. It delivers a humorous list of complaints–some petty, some exaggerated, all recognisable to anyone who has loved long enough to be annoyed. Despite its dramatic title, it’s all in good fun–mostly. Not to be taken seriously or meant to offend anyone, but–ouch!! Sorry if we hurt your feelings.

I Want a Divorce

From the series: A Smile in Rhyme

Here’s a list of many things collected over the years with you
Thirty years I’ve worn this ring—and still, you’ve got no clue.
You’ll be pleased (so don’t be pissed), I’ve trimmed the harshest bits
So, let’s just kiss and say goodbye before you read my list:

For a start—whenever you eat, there’s a tuneful little moan
The crunch of crispy fries rings out in quite a piercing tone.
That juicy steak? A roaring sound—you’re in a world of your own
Are you choking, passing wind—or putting on a show?

Your playful baby talk is sweet—but also irritating
You pick your nose and flick your hands—completely nauseating!
And when you fart, it sounds as though a bomb is detonating
Your snore? A rolling thunderstorm—relentless, aggravating.

Tell me, am I seeing things—I sometimes count you two
Your jeans are feeling tighter now, ease up on beer and stew.
You’ve grown a little softer—yes, I’m talking about you,
And all those trips you make to the loo—I’ve noticed those things too.

And if you try to read my mind, don’t hover near my face,
Unless you’ve brushed your teeth—or rinsed with something with a taste.
I saved the “lust” for last—my final, winning case
But now it’s gone completely—please, give that whine a rest.

It’s not me—it’s truly you, so now we say goodbye,
Don’t be shy, and please don’t cry—have chai, my honey-pie.

Thanks for reading! Did this poem make you sincerely smile? If you’ve ever silently judged someone’s snore or a “tuneful moan, “you’re in good company”.